Uncoiling Conflict Towards Greater Safety
- By Robert Pater
- May 01, 2023
There sure seems to be lots of conflict around, both in communities and workplaces. You’ve likely seen some of the stories and statistics displaying the many types, levels and expressions of conflict, ranging from declared distrust, called-out disillusionment, disengagement, abrupt quitting and other more severe actions.
Conflicts often ramp up the anger spectrum. When overly elevated, anger can emotionally blind almost anyone and potentially take them into the jagged “I shouldn’t have let myself go there” terrain. Beyond risking relationships, conflict-fueled raging can endanger personal safety, not only from encounters between people but also from someone “seeing red” and then making overly risky decisions they might not have if they were cooler and calmer. How many times have you seen someone getting injured from reacting out of anger or becoming so distracted they miss a looming and obvious hazard (like a moving object, something they could have walked around or more)?
I try to keep in mind that self-control is a major key to personal safety, and conflict that leads to distraction or anger pulls at, and can even strip away, self-control.
There’s a lot written about psychological safety, perhaps fitting in times of too-frequent social media bullying, or where some conflate “strong” leadership with winning at all costs through threat and intimidation. Think of conflict like a spring. When compressed under pressure, it can suddenly explode, sometimes releasing enough force to cause serious damage. Not surprisingly, springs are actually key components in firearms’ mechanisms. According to Assembly Magazine, “There can be as many as 20 springs in a typical weapon. These may include compression springs to resist applied compression forces or to store energy for pushing. Helical extension springs to store energy and exert a pulling force.”
One key to de-escalating conflicts is to develop and practice de-cocking mechanisms, as in moving at least a step away from letting yourself be triggered into a regrettable action to which there’s no undo key to press. One aspect of this lies with us individually assuming self-control, perhaps by remembering to give ourselves a time out when anger mounts (e.g. going to the restroom or delaying confrontation). Maybe take some deep breaths, count to a pre-chosen number before acting or drop your shoulders and bend your knees to unstiffen, making it less likely to act woodenly, or try another way to retake control of the wildfire reactions that might otherwise consume—and possibly endanger—your relationships, physical being or even career.
This article originally appeared in the April/May 2023 issue of Occupational Health & Safety.